Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
by Jason Vasconi
I am getting more and more phone calls each year regarding dogs under one roof who got along for a period of time, but have recently started fighting. From what I can tell, the fighting is caused by several issues, like having a large amount of dogs, spoiling them, and doing nothing to fulfill their needs. The owners are, most commonly, giving these dogs an over-indulgence of their love and affection. Movies, TV shows, internet and social media could encourage a lot of this behavior also.
I find that the fighting is most commonly caused by putting multiple, unfulfilled dogs under one roof and loading them up with responsibilities to the point that the weight of the load they’re carrying around is so heavy, it has them stressed out and pressured to the point where they feel they need to compete and fight. This is something that can build up and layer over time. It could take dogs weeks, months, and even years before they actually fight or attack.
In order to fix any horrible fighting situation, you need to start at the root of the problem and fix the dogs internally. You have to meet their expectations and fulfill their lives and make them happy. This is done through a lifestyle change. You have to set the dogs up for success and give them a chance to reach their full potential. Fulfilled and satisfied dogs are less likely to fight.
Three activities
to reach the goal of fulfilling their dogs and set them up for success
**This is the time to start getting the dogs or dog comfortable with wearing a muzzle if you feel it may come in handy later on.
1. On-Leash Walks
This activity is done with the dog mostly using its brain. The dog should walk with a loose leash and shoulders even with your hip. The owner is controlling pace, direction, and when they stop and move.
The owner and the dogs are walking as a team, but the owner is the coach. These walks build trust, respect, and a rapport between the owner and their dog. This puts the owner in a position to prove he is worthy of making important decisions while the dogs are under pressure, and that they can work together while following their coach’s guidance. This will also help the dogs learn impulse control and how to be better at controlling their emotions. It also acts as an exhaust for the pressure cooker the owner created back at home.
2. Off-Leash Walks
Getting reliable control of the dogs without a leash is always a goal. Roaming at liberty as a pack feels natural to dogs. It makes them feel good. It puts the dogs in a position to succeed by giving them a chance to be together in a natural state of being.
The dogs having the choice to use distance to communicate is essential for them to establish clear communication. Stimulating their nose and eyes while honing their pack drive can create a bonding experience. It also helps them with impulse control and helps them gain control of their emotions. Use the muzzles as necessary for safety.
The dogs should be somewhat comfortable wearing them at this point.
3. Controlling Things of Value
So if stress leads to fights, the owner should have a couple of goals in mind:
Take as much stress as possible out of the dogs and their environment,
Put the dogs in a position to learn how to cope with the pressure, stress, and anxiety better, including how to make better decisions when things are tough. Good decisions include walking away or giving an appropriate warning.
The owner has to break the pressure cooker they have created within their home. Dogs can be very possessive inside the house, and dog owners fuel it by trying to make the dogs happy by giving them access to the things and spaces they enjoy and find value in.
Doorways, food and toys, furniture, the owners’ space and affection, and even the dogs’ personal space are things dogs can become possessive over. This can lead dog owners down a path they do not want to go.
This path starts when:
The dogs find value in a person, place, or object.
The dogs have access to person, place, or object whenever they desire.
They become possessive over a person, place, or object.
Once the dogs have possessed person, place, or object, it becomes their responsibility.
Responsibilities lead to stress, pressure, and anxiety.
Eventually the dogs reach their threshold and lash out.
Five rules
to apply around the house to relieve their dogs from most responsibilities
Keep the dogs off the furniture, as dogs take value in high up, comfortable places.
Gain control of the dogs around open doors, as dogs may compete to see who can be the first one into or out of the house.
Have control over feeding times and toys, as these are objects dogs will compete over often.
Make the dogs get out of your way (yield to you). Don’t walk around them. Dogs can become sensitive about their personal space.
Determine when the dogs receive your affection and control the space around you. Dogs will hold a lot of value in this and may compete over it often
These rules will help take the stress out of dogs and strip them of most home responsibilities. The structured environment takes away most things for the dogs to compete over, thus setting the dogs up for success.
Making sure the dogs fully understand and follow these rules before putting them back together while at liberty inside is important. Muzzles may be needed at this point for safety. The dogs should be somewhat comfortable wearing them by this point.
Socialization is the icing on the cake. Having a dog-social class to take the dogs to is a huge advantage. If the dogs are a good candidate for this, it will hone their communication skills, give them better control over their emotions and improve their impulse control. It may provide them with the opportunity to feel good about each other.
Every dog there is unfamiliar to them, so when they do cross paths in class, they will recognize each other, hopefully bringing them a feeling of comfort and they may even have fun together. The class is also a huge exhaust for the pressure they may be feeling back at home.
Why can’t we all just get along? I don’t know, but providing a lifestyle of structured on-leash walks, safe off-leash walks, controlling things dogs find value in, and socialization class is what I strive to accomplish when I get involved in this situation.
How the "process to peace" in the home moves along will have differences depending on the situation, but your goal should always be to have the dogs enjoying each other’s company again, or at least tolerating each other’s company. The lifestyle that the owner provides for the dogs sets them up for success or failure. Providing a lifestyle for the dogs that sets them up for success should bring peace back to their home.
Jason Vasconi is the owner of Transform My Dog, based in Dickinson, TX. He has been helping people and their dogs find freedom through training and socialization since 1989. Jason joined the IACP in 2007 and was inspired by the likes of the late Dick Russell, as well as fellow Texan-at-the-time Chad Mackin, to begin Large Field Socialization. He and his wife Elizabeth have 2 children and multiple dogs.
Proud Member of the the International Association of Canine Professionals